Do-Overs

Apparently they're going to be big in the near future.

Treasury Secretary Hank "Henry" Paulson ($, DC) has decided that the 700,000,000,000 taxpayer dollars provided to buy "troubled" assets will not actually be used for this purpose. He's casting about for other ways to inject liquidity into capital markets. Well, hey, enjoy the blank check, Hank, and let us know how you've decided to deploy our money. When you get the chance.

Could this cause it to dawn on people that nobody involved in the bailout has any firm plans, except to grasp as much money and power over our economy as possible? I can hardly wait to hear of the Glorious Five Year Plan For Prosperity, Low Inflation, And Higher Crop Yields. Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi continues to see taxpayers as one big piggy bank, and wants to give the big 3 automatkers 25,000,000,000 dollars. This would allow the auto makers to continue to pay thousands of people to not work (Job bank), and pay pension and medical bills for people who will retire in their fifties. The unions came through for the Democrats, so the Democrats intend to come through for the unions.

In another do-over, Weather Underground terrorist Bill Ayers has finally surfaced, after an exhaustive search that ended when ABC News called him on the phone. Bill "Boom-Boom" Ayers was described in the interview as an "activist." Suicide bombers in Hamasistan have been described that way, too. As one wag put it, you wouldn't want to be next to one of those "activists" when he activates.

I'm looking forward to the opportunity to change my past, as well. Buying GE at $32, certain college grades, ill-chosen words at parties; It will be great to erase these and more, in the coming New Era!