Stimulate This!

After the latest spend-fest was rammed through the House on a party-line vote (There's that hopeful bipartisan change we were promised!), some details finally emerged.

• $600 million to buy new cars for federal workers. Naturally, only UAW-dominated factories will be in the running for that pork.


• $300 million for education on sexually-transmitted diseases. Is the House afraid things will get too stimulating in the near future?


• $50 million in additional funds for the National Endowment of the Arts. Because, after all, what says Hope and Change better than a crucifix dipped in urine, funded by the taxpayers?

We also belatedly learned that only about 10% of the massive spending bill will fund anything resembling "infrastructure" repair and replacement. Apparently our "crumbling infrastructure" just needed some spackling and paint. After the claims of impending doom of the last couple of years, who knew?

Perhaps most outrageous of all, a majority of the funds budgeted won't be spent until after the first half of 2010. Just to make sure I have this straight, Obama, Pelosi and Reid said it was "critical" that their massive, crushing debt load on the taxpayers get passed as soon as possible. This is a "crisis," you know, and we can't wait. Well, apparently it's the kind of crisis that needs real attention in 2010. You know; an election year. What an interesting time to throw around billions of dollars to favorite constituencies, as well as your favorite voter-fraud enablers, ACORN. It is to laugh.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to desecrate some religious items and apply for a grant. With any luck, Clueless Nancy and Dirty Harry will come through, and I'll get stimulated right into a new Maserati.